Day 90: 2011

halos 2 weeks na ang lumilipas since nagsimula si 2011 or shall i say 2 weeks pa lang ang lumilipas since 2011 started but i already have this 'tired' feeling.

physically, i am really exhausted sa pagiging 'commuter'. for years may sarili akong car, now that i don't have my driver husband with me and i don't have a license here plus the fact na kahit may license ako i don't think i would really drive dito sa Dubai, kailangan ko tanggapin ang katotohanang masugid akong kliyente ng RTA ngayon. there's nothing bad with being a commuter syempre naman, ano ako pasosyal? nakakapagod lang talaga minsan hehe. buti kung pagbaba ng bus andun na ko sa tapat ng office but i still have to walk max 20 mins to get to my office and paguwi naman i also need to walk at least 10 mins to reach home kapag patakbo ako maglakad haha. anyways, i will consider this as my everyday exercise!

financially exhausted rin ako. shambalam ila! paisa na-ye (means no salary, no money) sabi nga ng mga kaopisina kong indiano. sosmeyo! as much as ayoko isipin ang financial aspect ng buhay ko (i have been so exhausted about this part of my life for ages) nagsusumiksik naman ang katotohanan everytime na maiisip ko sya. alam nyo yung feeling na pilit mong iniiwasan na makasalubong sa daan pero ayun at nakasalubong mo nga? yun kahit ayaw mo sana magkape e bigla ka pinagtimpla ng office boy nyo ng kape?? walang konek! pero basta hindi pa man kumakalahati ang Enero eto ako at parang windang na. sabi nga ng asawa ko, don't worry about it ngayon lang kasi nasa adjustment period kami ng aming paglipat sa Qatar. well, i really wish that it would be that easy.

emotionally down, being apart with my husband, narealise ko na mahirap pala talaga maging single mother. imagine, i have to think about the budget & grocery which i don't normally do sa bahay cause joined together lagi kami maggrocery ng husband ko. then i have to attend school meetings na sasabay pa sa deadlines ko sa office. there's this 'pagdidisiplina' moments pa sa bahay. isipin ko na lang na at least ako i have someone to talk to sa Skype every night telling him how my day went, pero hindi pa rin sapat sakin, pano pa yung mga taong walang 'makausap' at hindi maishare ang kanilang inarte sa buhay. so then came, THANKFULNESS talaga na i have a wonderful husband & family despite all the glitches in my life. well, there's not much but a glitch is still a glitch. parang peklat lang, kahit sabihin mong maliit, may peklat ka pa rin! heheheh

mentally drained? i don't know feeling ko nauubusan ako ng idea sa araw-araw na lang. dahil siguro sa pagkapagod ko na sa mga naunang aspeto ng buhay ko? haha. sometimes i am stuck with something then after a while parang hindi ko naman alam kung ano yun ginagawa ko hahaha.

i told myself this 2011 that maybe i should really start giving Chloe more leeway para hindi na kami nag-aaway. Whatever he wants to do gawin nya na lang as long as hindi sya makakasakit o makakaapekto ng ibang tao especially his younger brother. Pero iba talaga yun batang yun parang namimiss nya ko whenever hindi ko sya nasisigawan ng bonggang-bongga haha..i just need to be more patient siguro! (positive)

i've got a lot of things to say. pero natatamad na ko mag type as usual. besides all personal drama lang naman to, walang kakapulutan ng aral. walang quote na ipapauso, walang joke na bago! hehehe..

maybe, i am simply TIRED!